- Feels shameful
- Is illicit, stolen, exploitive
- Compromises values
- Draws on fear for excitement
- Re-enacts childhood abuse
- Disconnects from oneself
- Creates world of delusion
- Is self-destructive and dangerous
- Uses conquest or power
- Is seductive
- Serves to medicate and kill pain
- Is dishonest
- Becomes routine, has rigid rules
- Has secretive, double life
- Is grim and joyless
- Demands perfection
- Is driven, compulsive
- Is a way to "get" something
- Has no boundaries
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- Enhances self-respect
- Has no victims, is shared and open
- Deepens meaning
- Uses vulnerability for excitement
- Cultivates sense of being adult
- Improves sense of self
- Expands reality
- Relies on safety
- Is mutual and intimate
- Takes responsibility for needs
- Brings legitimate feelings
- Originates in integrity
- Presents challenges, always changing
- Integrates authentic parts of self
- Is playful and fun
- Accepts the imperfect
- Has freedom and choices
- Is always an act of self-love
- Recognizes limits
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